The Best Jokes Ever!

[Goober]

lol, that was a great one, cookie.

[{MFF}Mr.Wolf]

OH Cookie the funny guy , heheheh I may have to think something up.

[cK]

Two cats are swimming across a river. One's name is "One two three" and the other's name is "Un deux trois."

Which one makes it across?

One two three, because Un deux trois cat sank.

[Goober]

I get it.... my French teacher always told us this one... 

[cK]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

[cK]

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

[Alex]

[cK]

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan."

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

[cK]

Two Inuit sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

[cK]

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him... a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

[cK]

Someone stole my mood ring.
I don't know how I feel about that.

[cK]

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Aye Matey.

[alma_cro]

[cK]

There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of you will understand this.